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I don’t know why I’m acting like this. As in all of a sudden, I just feel like I’ve fallen for someone again. I’m not yet sure about this but the “butterflies on the stomach” feeling is back one more time. I don’t know if there is a possibility/ connection or something but I already restricted myself from falling hard coz I might hit the ground dead. I already had a series of hapless love aspirations before that went nowhere but hurt, degradation, and humiliation. From then on I swore to be strong and never let that stupid feeling fool me again. I want to be free of secrets, please!

Now, I feel like I’m in a complete loss and I don’t even know why.I look like I just came from a break up. Well, I’ve never been in a relationship before but I don’t know how I had the courage to speak of all these things which I don’t have any experience yet. Now, I just want to stay and accompany my self with lonesome songs. The gloomy and rainy picture outside makes my situation even more melancholic. Oh boy!

I know that I’m not supposed to feel this way but I can’t understand why I feel like something important is detached from me- like a piece of my heart and life was taken away. There’s something inside that says I must not fall again because it’s not right. Oh well, there’s nothing wrong actually with falling for this guy but I feel the deep need of this emotion to be stopped right away. Please! I already had enough of the heartaches and heartbreaks. I just don’t want to get hurt again. I already lost all the trust that I could give on men.